Good Advice!

… and Geocaching … this ABC Wednesday post kind of Grew – lol – so if you don’t want to read about psychologists and my mental health (again) – you can scroll down to the * and read the Geocaching stuff)

Earlier this year, I took this photo:

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Yes … it is a diagram thingy that my psychologist drew for me, on a page of his notebook … and I took the photo of it with my iPad (which I had sort of been trying to take notes on) because I wanted to remember it, and remember to actually DO what it said …

(in fact I think I kind of Got reminded I needed to do that this week actually, when I realised I was feeling a bit down, and worrying about things, and worrying about how I was worried, and how I felt and … on and on … the joys of an Aspie brain that gets stuck on things, I Guess 🙂

A week or 5 later, I decided it was such Good advice – that I should make it into a quilt (I have not Got around to that yet – been busy with making the ones I just had in the CQ exhibition) … Yes … It probably isn’t normal to use something your psychologist drew for you as a quilt design … especially as I also intend to put it in next years Exhibition, and the description will say what it is … and I am sure most people think it is not normal to write a quilt description about how I was visiting a psychologist – but I am not normal (I even have a bit of paper that says so – lol)

The bit at the bottom, with slightly illegible writing in a couple of words, says “Stop! Do something enjoyable then come back to the problem”

Isn’t it Great to have medical advice that says to Go and do something enjoyable?! 🙂

What a Great reason to Get out of doing some housework and Go Geocaching … which is what I did quite a lot of … and I think it was very Good “therapy”

What I had forgotten, and realised when I looked what date I had taken that photo … was that he had drawn that diagram at … THAT … visit … a session that was memorable, not because it was bad, but because it was Good … it was the one where after a couple of sessions where I was wondering if I was Getting anywhere and if he was actually doing anything to help, he finally seemed to GET me … and I finally Got the other piece of the puzzle that I had been trying to figure out …

I had arrived, in a hurry from having also seen my GP for a review and then had a talk with the case manager who had organised my Graduated return to work (which the review was part of) and I … thought … I had some organised notes on my iPad, with some questions I had … but I got all flustered and forgot what ones they were/where I had put them and kind of had a mini meltdown when I sat down to talk to the psychologist and couldn’t find it … which was not the Good thing I was Going to mention, but it was also another interesting bit of the puzzle that is me … I had been reading about Aspies having overload and either having meltdowns, or shutting down … and that is what I think happened then … but with me i guess it isn’t something I Get that often, isnt the total overload/shutdown that some Aspies get, and I don’t get it from sensory overload, it seems to be emotional stuff … and I have since thought of a couple of other weird incidents from the last several years, that I never understood what the heck happened and why, but I now have an explanation for …

But the main thing about that particular session – the missing puzzle piece I needed -was just after that, when I had got my brain to sort of half work again, and we were talking and I was trying to describe how I was feeling and how I was frightened by how I felt, and how I didn’t understand it, and how I felt weird and totally confused and overwhelmed by everything that was going on in my life … and he suddenly stopped and looked at me, and said something like “I don’t know why I didn’t pick up on this before … you feel [cant remember his exact words but he described much the same thing as I just had]? … I think I said “yes” … and he said “that’s anxiety” …

[if this was a cartoon, that would have been the point where a lightbulb appeared above my head and lit up with a ding sound … I probably just sat there stunned for a few seconds :]

I have since realised that for me, anxiety doesn’t feel like the textbook description I must have read somewhere, and it has been something I have had, to at least some degree, for many years, probably on and off for most of my life … long enough that I just thought it was normal to feel like that, I guess …

The other weird thing is – I wrote in my notes, shortly after that session, that he had told me, sometime near the end, that I was now calmer/more settled than he had ever seen me … I had forgotten about that … I know something changed in me as a result of that day/visit … but I didn’t realise it had started to happen that quickly – lol

(within a couple weeks of that visit, I started having people who had not seen me since before then, tell me that I had changed … calmer, more settled, happier … Mum even went as far as to say I was the old me, a happier me, who she had not seen for many years … yet also a new me … Which I agree with … the Autism diagnosis’ and all this working out what makes me tick … has been a really positive change … I am not sure where I read the term, but I now feel more comfortable in my own skin …

For a day that started off with a slightly stressful GP review, and turned into a bit of a shambles for a bit … It actually ended up being a very Good day …

And ended up with me almost unintentionally taking that Good advice … This was the day I think I blogged about a while ago, where I went to a public lecture/free lunch just after the psychologist session, then went wandering up a hill to find a Geocache, and sat and did some Mindfulness meditation under a tree while I was up there (mindfulness probably also deserves some of the credit for the Good progress I was making mental health wise at the time), then I went to an art exhibition opening, and then went shopping … and on the way back I decided to Go and look for the new Geocache in the car park … and met another Geocacher, who was waiting for 2 others and we all went and had a Good time climbing trees in the dark, to find the Geocaches up there 🙂

And Good Grief! … I just noticed I had spelled “unintentionally” as “unintensionally” … oh dear … I guess I was talking about stress, so maybe that is why it came out with the word “tension” in there – although that is probably just a typo/not thinking about spelling … and my Aspie brain now noticing weird wordplay and connections between things – LOL

*

I wrote most of this blog post a few days before I intend to post it … It is now the next day, and yes, I am still going to wait a couple more days and post it for ABC Wednesday (as you may have Guessed – this week is the letter G 🙂

Today (Saturday 🙂 I went and took that Good advice … In the morning I went for a fun walk (along part of the Canberra Centenary Trail, and up a hill) with a group of people, and then most of us went for coffee … (I had an iced coffee and lunch 🙂 and then I decided to go find some Geocaches … I stopped to find one just down the road, before heading out elsewhere … but I never got out to the elsewhere because that first one was at an interesting place to explore … actually a dog park (fenced area to exercise dogs off leash), which I didn’t know was there – probably only a few locals who do – it was deserted the whole time I was there, and rather overgrown … and quite a pretty patch of bush – so I might take my dog out there tomorrow 🙂

So what did I spend a couple of hours doing in a dog park without a dog?

Took a few dozen photos … many of which were selfies – lol

A few of them were OK … This one is probably Good enough to Go in here:

[oops, was trying to decide and must have selected 2 – lol]

I also found a nice spot to not only take a few more silly selfies, but to sit and do a mindfulness meditation thing, the ones that I mentioned at the beginning of this post, which I had kind of stopped getting around to doing lately … I should keep doing it actually …

Here is another silly selfie, or 2, that I took in that nice spot:

… and, because it was a nice spot’ and there was only one Geocache inside the fence (the one I found) and one other outside the fence (which I had already found another day) I decided to look and see if there was room to hide my own Geocache over the other side … yes there was … picked out a possible spot … and then walked a bit further, and I found a tree … a pine tree, in a corner … one I could climb … Yes – of course I climbed it …
DSC_6353.jpg

I actually had a ready to hide Geocache with me (one I had tried to hide in a not so good spot, then gone back and removed when it wasn’t approved) … so … it is now up the tree … no, you can’t go find it yet – I have to finish doing the listing for it and submit it before it is published (if it is actually approved)

DSC_6362.jpg

I decided it was getting too late to go out and get the other Geocaches I had planned to drive a few km to find (but they will be perfect for one day after work, when I need to wind down), and so headed home … but I stopped and found another Geocache on my way … and found another tree … lol

(I didn’t have another cache to hide, but I have a weird idea for a biggish one I can hide up there … maybe even a multi … where to find it you have to go somewhere and collect information and then use it in some way to calculate/figure out where to go and look for the cache … trouble is – I now have to figure out the figuring out bit that people will have to do for it – lol

… by the time I Got home and headed out to take the dog for his walk, it was Getting late, and it Got Dark while we were out walking – lol

 

Also, by the time I cooked a Good dinner and did a few things … It has Got late … Where has my evening Gone?

Ok … now it IS Wednesday … am just about to hit “publish” on this … and a duplicate version on Blogger – at aykayem.blogspot.com
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Author: aykayem

I might blog about myself or add some info here ... sometime ... I have mainly been posting on my other blog at http://aykayem.blogspot.com/ but I might start posting a bit more here ... if I can sort of half organise myself enough ... which could be a problem when I am in limbo with an awkward work situation that has also involved me being diagnosed with a stress disorder ... and Autism ... which has started me on a journey of finally finding myself and hopefully becoming an Awesome Aspie :)

4 thoughts on “Good Advice!”

  1. a great deal of g’s…and I recognize the story you’re telling. In between the lines I also read despair and hope at the same time… an aspie-brain is not that easy to deal with but I get the feeling that you are doing a great job.
    Life is challenging… I am glad to see that you don’t walk away from it!!
    Have a ♥-warming ABC-Wednes-day / -week
    ♫ M e l ☺ d y ♫ (abc-w-team)
    http://melodymusic.nl/21-g/

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